What would Jack Bauer do...on his day off?

Dear Diary,

It's me again. It's Saturday and I'm so bored.

I phoned in to CTU when I woke up this morning. There's no crisis. The intelligence on the terrorist cell in Santa Monica turned out be bogus. They're a scout troop apparently. They were working on a craftwork badge, not a dirty bomb. I offered to come in and handle the interrogations, but they don't want me to. Hmph...I could get them to talk.

I don't like being in the office any more. No-one will look me in the eye. It's as if they are trying to pretend that they don't see me. In retrospect, maybe murdering a guy in the conference room and cutting a his off with a hacksaw was wrong and created a lot of extra work for the underpaid contract cleaning staff.

Friday night turned into a mess. My suspicions were aroused when I noticed the guys at the office acting strangely as they edged silently towards the exits. I confronted them about their behaviour. Rather sheepishly they admitted that it was Jose's birthday and that they were going out for beer and pizza. I just hadn't received the e-mail that went to everyone in the office. I apologised to Jose for putting the loaded gun to his kneecap and particularly for punching him in the throat. I tried to pretend that I was kidding and that I knew it was his birthday all along. Jose really is a good sport.

I'll get IT to check the e-mail server on Monday.

After the first round everyone had to go somewhere else (even though I was buying). I tried to tell a funny story about when I voluntarily became a heroin addict to maintain my cover with Mexican drug dealers. I guess you just had to be there.

Kim never phones any more. She blames me for being kidnapped, trapped in a locked room during a nerve gas attack and the whole cougar thing. Children- you try to bring them up, you try to teach them right from wrong, you try to make sure that they leave town prior to a nuclear attack on the city, but they're never grateful.

Tonight I'm planning to go a speed-dating evening again. It's been hard for me to meet women, since Teri was murdered. By my ex-girlfriend who was a mole in CTU. And Audrey was tortured and left catatonic by the Chinese.

Speed dating is difficult. Dammit. You just don't have the time.

I should try to get to the pet store today. My terrapin died while I faked my own death to prevent my being betrayed by my own government. I miss Louie. He was a good pet, serene undemanding and loyal. I wish I could get a dog. I just can't chance it. I could be called into service at any time, have to work through a crisis which strangely seems to be resolved within 24 hours. Who would walk him? I will put a note in the office suggestion box on Monday that we have a pet creche in the office.

I have a nice meal planned for today. The Plan-a-meal for one book which Chloe gave me is working out really well. I like to cook. When I'm working I don't usually have time to eat. Duck a l'orange with Dauphinoise potatoes and steamed vegetables. It's a little elaborate, but it helps to pass the time.

Dammit...I have so much time.