Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly

Voltaire said that....I didn't know what he meant when I first read that quote.

It was in early August of 2006 and I was trying to write a groom's speech for my upcoming wedding. I went through every book of quotations that I could find and several websites until I found what I was looking.

My final speech featured generous contributions from GK Chesterton, Winston Churchill and The Beach Boys. However Voltaire's line stayed with me. I thought that it was a funny line at the time, although probably not appropriate when trying to charm my new bride, my in-laws, her relations and most importantly, when trying to prevent my mother from hitting me with her walking stick.

I have been married for over two years now and I'm starting to understand that quotation now. Marriage isn't easy, it's not always fun and it's not for the faint of heart. When you're married, you have to think of someone else before yourself, which in my own case doesn't always come naturally.

I would like to share another quotation that I came across just this afternoon.

I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more- Candice Bergen.

I think that the former Murphy Brown/Shirley Schmidt may be on to something there.

On the face of it, St. Valentine's day might sound like a odd choice of day to ruminate about the qualities of a modern marriage. All I can say is that I have someone in my life who loves me without condition or reservation, who never judges me, is always on my side and helps me up when I fall.

I don't know why...She has to put up with a lot. I'm not the most passionate person in the world and I have enough neuroses to fill up a text book, but she loves me anyway. I hope every day to be worthy of that.

I love her too by the way, without reservation, qualification and without limits.

Happy Valentines day.